Maybe it's because winter is setting in, and maybe because I am hungry for stimulation.But I am getting the urge to expand my cable television package.
DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
Please stop me from this longing.
Cable TV can suck the lifeblood out of me, leave me unconscious on the couch for days on end. It is the unraveling of civilization.
Find me another stimulating activity with which I can waste my time.
Sure, I have cable TV now. It's not just "Basic" cable. It's "Incredibly Basic". My premium channels are these: "The Weather Channel", "CBC-Vancouver", "Northwest Cable News","The Discovery Channel" about 4 shopping channels and, "The Hallmark Channel".
I think the Cable company does this to torture people. Do you know what is on "The Hallmark Channel"? Why would you, unless you had no other channels to watch? It's re-runs of "Walker, Texas Ranger", "Murder She Wrote", and "Matlock". That's about it. Over and over and over.
Oh, to bathe in the luxury of plain-old "Basic" cable. Imagine. My nights would be filled with "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report". I would understand the world better with CNN and CNBC.
And on weekends! Oh, the fun I would have learning new cooking techniques on "The Food Network". I would travel to Tahiti on "The Travel Channel"and learn about great people on "The Biography Channel".
But this pleasure would set me back another hundred bucks a month. $1200 a year, for the luxury of spending more time on my butt on the couch.
Not worth it. Please forgive my momentary lapse into material longing land.
I know! Maybe I'll upgrade my 2-movies-at-a-time Netflix package to THREE!!!!
