Usually, when I feel a cold or something coming on, I get acupuncture and it knocks it right out of me. That's what I did on Tuesday, but this time, it was a little more severe. I am approaching my fourth day off from work, and feeling a little guilty about it.
I've never missed this many days of work before. Two has been my maximum. But this time, since my doctor said I may be contagious (and she suspected the flu, although I completely disagree with that diagnosis) I have been told to stay home and rest.
But that is not all. Oh no, my friend. You should see the treatment regimen she has me doing.
First of all, I'm snorting warm salt water into my sinus cavity through each nostril every couple of hours. I'm also taking mega doses of vitamin C, something called "EHB" with echinacia, and a bunch of other natural stuff to boost the immune system, a vial of some NASTY-ASS tasting liquid called "URTI & hydrastis" every-other hour, and there's MORE.
Several times a day, I am inserting 4 long medical q-tips into my nasal cavities, 2 parallel to the floor, and two at an angle into my upper sinus cavity, coated with some sort of essential oil blend with eucalyptus, pine, peppermint and God knows what else. I lie back and sneeze my freaking head off for as long as I can stand it (usually about 15 minutes, although she wants me to do 30 minutes) and try to relax.
But wait, there's more. The pinnacle of my naturopathic remedy is the WET SOCKS TREATMENT. It should really be called the FUCKING COLD WET SOCKS TREATMENT, because that's what it really involves.
First, you take a hot bath and warm yourself up all nice and toasty. Put on your 2nd favorite pair of P.J's (I'll explain why in a moment).
Then, put on a thin pair of cotton socks that have been soaked in FUCKING COLD ICE WATER. Cover them up with a pair of thick, wool socks (I have only thick cotton gym socks, so they have to suffice).
Finally, go to bed, and cover up. You will find you sweat profusely during the night. That's why you need the 2nd pair of PJ's. Because the first pair will get soaked through with perspiration.
When you wake up, the socks are dry and toasty, and so are you.
Actually, it's kind of an ingenious treatment. The theory is that the cold wet socks force your immune system to go into hyper-drive and pull warming, healing blood down to your feet, increasing your circulation, and knocking the cold or flu or sinus infection out of you. I did it last night, and felt a lot better today.
So, here's to another night of freezing socks.
