There are no real primers for middle age. And it feels very strange to even write those words, "middle age".
But it's hard to deny, that I am no longer a kid.
It's funny. I was always the youngest one in the newsroom. People would marvel at my abilities "at such a young age". I thought it was weird that I was working with people all the way "in their 40's", while I was just "in my 20's".
How the heck did I get HERE?
But maybe I should celebrate the fact that I've MADE IT HERE.
Every day I read news stories about a 46-year-old-woman, a 47-year-old-woman, a 48-year-old-woman who has been involved in a fatal car crash, a terrible diving accident, a house fire.....those designations used to seem so impersonal. Now, they're ME! Wow.
They tell me that drug and alcohol abuse is rampant in people in their mid-40's. I think lots of people have a hard time dealing with this time. Bodies change, reproduction systems slow or shut down, and I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. Inside, I'm still me. But outside? Wow. wow.
wow.
But the "middle" of anything is a transition.
When I was doing counseling, my therapist always used to ask me to visualize the 75 year old Lisa looking back on my life and reflecting on the issues I was spending so much time dealing with in the present. The 75 year old Lisa could always use love and compassion to see the situation, admire the much younger Lisa and see beyond the problem.
I'm gonna be really cool when I'm 75.
